“I don’t care if they want and ounce, tell ’em…..”


I had to either write this, or chief to get over it. I’m writing but hey who knows what the night holds.

My Brother Russy was in town for a few days off from his time consumptive job in ATL. His main request was that I take him out in the City, as his schedule has prohibited from hanging out at home. I made a few calls and Tuesday night we were set to go. At 9:30 I was at home and beat. Worn down from 24 hours of inconvenience due to a clogged main drain in my house (yeah, smell included, and no shower except at the gym). Every piece of me told me to reschedule, but Mr. Push it man wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. To top it off he went shopping just for the evening which meant I had to dress.

After a drive into the city and an HOUR wait for M.Dot, picture Russ (wearing Orville Redenbacher’s best) and me (camel cashmere jacket) at a lounge in the Meat Packing District for Wyclef’s Sisters Birthday party. It was a good time. I even ran into Syd Money fresh off the boat from J’Berg South Africa. The problem was that drinks were 2 for $40 not including tip. So before long it was time to roll.

We headed to spot on 27th called Cain, and after some humor about being on the guest list, my two friends and I were comped and headed to the bar. The place was cool. A bit slow but as I stood at the urinal in the men’s room I realized how DOPE the DJ was. He was mixing Hip Hop songs throwing the original sampled song into the hook. It was a good set and I was enjoying it.

Across from where we were standing, with his back to us, was a short Hispanic dude, dancing with a girl but looking lame. I never even noticed the girl but apparently Russ did. When Peppy-pito left for the bathroom Russ stepped to her. All I saw was the midget come back and start talking in Russ’ face and the two doing the classic circle walk. I thought “this is how people get their asses kicked”. I was off to the side and M.D. was actually behind the guy. It seemed to all work itself out, and I went back to enjoying the music. The guy hung out for the next half hour or so and then left. I had totally forgotten about him, but he said something to Russ on the way out.

I must have turned away, or headed off for a few minutes but the next thing I know Russ was flanked by two heavy set men in Black and the chump was in his face talking s&!t. I headed over and politely asked if one of the guys worked there. The guy said “yeah, I’m a bouncer.” You know me, I proceeded to explain how this short jackass was upset and trying to start something, but we were cool. He then informs me that Little Napoleon IS HIS BROTHER!

Well, long story short we were literally kicked the hell out of there and circled by 6 or 7 men in black with secret service earphones IN ORDER TO FACILITATE A FIGHT, “One on One” Between shorty sh!t stain and my brother.

Huh!??? MF do you see these damn clothes? Not gonna happen! Plus you are a BITCH who went and called your brother the bouncer to get your back? AND his girl had a bumpy grill I mean DAMN! I was seriously pissed to say the least.

For days that crap boiled my blood. I wanted to walk past one night and blow gun a dart in one or those jackasses epiglottis! I wanted to stomp random short dudes in the gym. I wanted REVENGE.

But now I’ve written it out. And my pain is your pleasure. Enjoy it.


PS: It wasn’t your fault, but damn if this doesn’t go on your record RUSS!